"Not I," said the dog.
"Not I," said the cat.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Then I will," said the little red hen. So the little red hen planted the seeds all by herself.
When the seeds had grown, the little red hen asked her friends, "Who will help me cut the wheat?"
"Not I," said the dog.
"Not I," said the cat.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Then I will," said the little red hen. So the little red hen cut the wheat all by herself.
When all the wheat was cut, the little red hen asked her friends, "Who will help me take the wheat to the mill to be ground into flour?"
"Not I," said the dog.
"Not I," said the cat.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Then I will," said the little red hen. So the little red hen brought the wheat to the mill all by herself, ground the wheat into flour , and carried the heavy sack of flour back to the farm.
Then the little red hen asked, "Who will help me make the dough?"
"Not I," said the dog.
"Not I," said the cat.
"Not I," said the duck.
So the little red hen said, "FUCK THIS SHIT! I am a hen! How the hell do you expect me to make dough with these flimsy wings and skinny legs? I don't even like bread! It's a good thing I saved some wheat seeds. I'll just peck at them."
"But I love bread!" said the duck.
"Good for you!" said the little red hen. "Because those floppy webbed feet of yours would be perfect for mixing and kneading the dough!"
"Alright!" said the duck.
"I'll help!" said the dog.
"Not I," said the cat.
So the little red hen went to peck her stash of wheat seeds.
Later, when the bread was all baked, the duck and the dog sat down to eat it. They had eaten half of it when the dog noticed the pecking hen and asked, "Would you like some bread?"
"That's OK," said the little red hen. "Remember I said I don't like bread. You enjoy it!"
"What about you, cat?" said the duck.
"You all know I'm gluten-free!" said the cat. "Why didn't anyone ask me what I wanted?"
.....
ReplyDelete"Oh no," said the LRH. "You did not help me at all, so you cannot help me eat the bread!"
So the dog and the cat and the duck whispered together for a minute.
"Come here," they said sweetly to the LRH. "We have a surprise for you".
And the LRH came to the dog. "What is my surprise?" she asked.
"Just this, you little fucking bitch", said the dog. And the dog grabbed the LRH, and had his way with her. So did the duck and the cat.
Later, the dog, duck and cat had a lovely chicken dinner, with fresh bread. They all said, "Thank you, LRH!"